Today we recieved word that our homestudy has been completed...yay! However, they are not going to send it to us until October 6, so that "hopefully" we won't have to update it before it expires. We have the go ahead to file for our I-600 but have to wait for the grants:( At least it has been completed and we can move onto the next step.
So for the GREAT news...our social worker also informed us that her and her family are moving and she will no longer be our social worker....YIPEE!!!!! No other news could have made our day...well except winning the lottery or a referral...lol. We hope to hear from our new social worker within the next few weeks. Please pray that this social worker will actaully communicate with us and help us throughout the rest of our journey.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Communication...or the lack of
So on June 29th, our social worker sent us an email stating that our homestudy was nearly finished and would be sent to Grand Rapids in the next day or two. Actually the email was asking for when certain documents were completed even though she had the originals (with completed date) in hand but whatever. So in order for us to file for any grants or to start our I-600 we need our completed homestudy. After 2 1/2 weeks of not hearing from our agency we sent an email to our social worker to get an update. (We used email since she does not work in the office and does not have a direct phone to get in contact with).
As of this morning we still have not heard back from them, so Justin emailed her again and the program cordinator. This person apologized for not getting with us sooner but didn't recall the email (it actually wasn't sent to her originally...just wanted her to know what was going on now). In her email back to us she said that our homestudy was still being edited and should be sent to be approved shortly. WHAT????? Almost 3 weeks ago our social worker said it was already edited and would be sent in 1-2 days. I am SOOOOO sick to my stomach about this whole process right now I can't even think straight. We are getting ready to send them $9k...you would think they would have there act together. I know this process isn't easy but do you think we could catch a break somewhere.
This whole communication thing is not working. It seems like no one knows what is going on or what to expect next. The time lines keep changing and the Cathwel yahoo chat group just scares the crap out of us. I know it is a new country for this agency and they are trying to convert everything over, but seriously. Then to make matters worse they match us with a social worker that "works from home". How can you do that line of work from home. UGGHHHHH! If I didn't so badly want another child and a sibling for Lydia I would through my hands up right now and be done with all of this. Why does this have to be so hard?
As of this morning we still have not heard back from them, so Justin emailed her again and the program cordinator. This person apologized for not getting with us sooner but didn't recall the email (it actually wasn't sent to her originally...just wanted her to know what was going on now). In her email back to us she said that our homestudy was still being edited and should be sent to be approved shortly. WHAT????? Almost 3 weeks ago our social worker said it was already edited and would be sent in 1-2 days. I am SOOOOO sick to my stomach about this whole process right now I can't even think straight. We are getting ready to send them $9k...you would think they would have there act together. I know this process isn't easy but do you think we could catch a break somewhere.
This whole communication thing is not working. It seems like no one knows what is going on or what to expect next. The time lines keep changing and the Cathwel yahoo chat group just scares the crap out of us. I know it is a new country for this agency and they are trying to convert everything over, but seriously. Then to make matters worse they match us with a social worker that "works from home". How can you do that line of work from home. UGGHHHHH! If I didn't so badly want another child and a sibling for Lydia I would through my hands up right now and be done with all of this. Why does this have to be so hard?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Operation Smile
The other night we were getting ready to head out the door to go for a walk. It started to get a little cloudy and dark so I ran back in to check the weather channel. When I turned on the tv, I came across a show about cleft lip/palate surgeries. I watched it for a few minutes, and when I noticed a small Asian boy with a cleft lip I was hooked. It is a program called Operation Smile. They are an organization that travels around the world helping children with this need free of charge. The episode I caught was actaully filmed in Vietnam...how crazy was that? As I sat and watched the show I cried, smiled, and became a little bit more at peace knowing that someday I may have a child with this need.
When I got to work this morning I looked up the website to see how we could sponser a child. The first thing I noticed was the section headed "What We Do" and under that heading it talked about their next mission. On July 20-24, 2009 the Operation Smile team will be in Hanoi, Vietnam performing these surgeries. By donating $240 you can help provide a child with a surgery to change their life forever. Do you have a little extra money to spare?
www.operationsmile.org
When I got to work this morning I looked up the website to see how we could sponser a child. The first thing I noticed was the section headed "What We Do" and under that heading it talked about their next mission. On July 20-24, 2009 the Operation Smile team will be in Hanoi, Vietnam performing these surgeries. By donating $240 you can help provide a child with a surgery to change their life forever. Do you have a little extra money to spare?
www.operationsmile.org
Monday, June 29, 2009
Taiwan Dossier
Today we FINALLY recieved the requirements for the Taiwan dossier. There isn't much paperwork needed so we probably won't start on it until early September. We did learn a bit more about Taiwan and there program though. We are allowed to pick either gender(however, we are open to either)and the child could be anywhere between 6-18 months in age at time of referral. They are estimating the time frame at this point to be 10-24 months for a healthy infant. It varies in lenght since the birthmothers participate in the selection of a family. If adopting an older child, waiting child, or child with special needs it will be less than 10-24 months. We should expect to travel 4-6 months after referral and will be in country for 4-7 days. If we are able to, we will stay in Taiwan for a few extra days (depending when we will be placed the the child) so that we can attach to the child as much as possible before returning home.
If we recieve the referral of a healthy infant, Cathwel will send us the child's medical and social history and a document entitled Adoption Placement Agreement. One thing that I found odd was that they don't send a picture of the child until after you have accepted the referral. I believe any child that is matched with us was meant to be our child, but not seeing there precious face before we agree to adopt could be hard. If a family is matched with a child with a special need however, a picture will be sent with the medical information. Once we arrive in Taiwan, we will be taken to the Jonah House Orphanage to pick up our child. Oh, what a day that will be.
If we recieve the referral of a healthy infant, Cathwel will send us the child's medical and social history and a document entitled Adoption Placement Agreement. One thing that I found odd was that they don't send a picture of the child until after you have accepted the referral. I believe any child that is matched with us was meant to be our child, but not seeing there precious face before we agree to adopt could be hard. If a family is matched with a child with a special need however, a picture will be sent with the medical information. Once we arrive in Taiwan, we will be taken to the Jonah House Orphanage to pick up our child. Oh, what a day that will be.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Adoption Training
This morning we drove up to Indy for our first adoption training meeting. The topic was how to parent/raise a transracial child. As we entered the door we were greated by the agency staff and were given a few worksheets to look over. These exercises were similar to the ones we completed during our first adoption but it never gets any easier. The paper had six scenarios asking how we would react to each of the following situations. I think it is great to be given these examples and to think of how we would respond. However, the more I am given one of these worksheets the more I wonder am I responding the correct way. I never feel like these questions I have are getting answered. What is the right response? Am I responding to this situation to the best of my ability? Am I hurting my child when I confront this person? Am I hurting the person to made the remark? Should I care if I hurt that person? After all, we are only trying to protect our children. That's the kind of class I want to attend.
We also watched several short clips of about transracial adoption and got to hear what these children are faced with as they grow up. It broke my heart hearing some of these stories, and knowing that Lydia and her brother or sister will be faced with them one day to. How do people say the things they say? These children have already been through so much already. They have been ripped from the only home they have ever known. They met new people that look, talk, and smell different from them. They have to adapt to new parents, a new home, food, and the language barrier. These children are so precious...just let them live a happy life without feeling anything less than "normal".
We also learned about how important it is to have transracial friends not only for our children but for us as well. I thought we had a good start since most of our friends have Asian children and then the playgroup we created for adopted children. I never new how important it was for us to have adult Asian friends. It would help us to communicate with someone who has been through some of these situations before and for our children to see an adult that has overcome some of the issues with adoption.
It was also mentioned that we should live in a transracial community...not were we are living now. We have been discussing moving to a more diverse city, I just don't know what city that would be. We looked into moving to Louisville or possibly near Indy but I don't think the schools are much more diverse than the ones in our area. We have thought about sending them to a private school, but how will we ever be able to afford that. We still have a couple of years before Lydia starts school. Hopefully everything will come together by then.
We also watched several short clips of about transracial adoption and got to hear what these children are faced with as they grow up. It broke my heart hearing some of these stories, and knowing that Lydia and her brother or sister will be faced with them one day to. How do people say the things they say? These children have already been through so much already. They have been ripped from the only home they have ever known. They met new people that look, talk, and smell different from them. They have to adapt to new parents, a new home, food, and the language barrier. These children are so precious...just let them live a happy life without feeling anything less than "normal".
We also learned about how important it is to have transracial friends not only for our children but for us as well. I thought we had a good start since most of our friends have Asian children and then the playgroup we created for adopted children. I never new how important it was for us to have adult Asian friends. It would help us to communicate with someone who has been through some of these situations before and for our children to see an adult that has overcome some of the issues with adoption.
It was also mentioned that we should live in a transracial community...not were we are living now. We have been discussing moving to a more diverse city, I just don't know what city that would be. We looked into moving to Louisville or possibly near Indy but I don't think the schools are much more diverse than the ones in our area. We have thought about sending them to a private school, but how will we ever be able to afford that. We still have a couple of years before Lydia starts school. Hopefully everything will come together by then.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Homestudy Meeting at our House
Tonight we had our last homestudy visit at our house. We have spent the last week painting, organizing, and cleaning. I was actually pretty calm during this interview...the only thing I was a little nervous about is what Lydia might say. She comes up with some of the craziest stories these days. As soon as the social worker arrived, Justin answered the door and Lydia greeted her by saying, "Hi, I Lydia Thu Ha. (She loves using her middle name:) It was the cutest thing and the social worker just smiled and laughed. She then asked if Lydia would give her a tour of the house. Our bedroom is right off the foyer so Lydia pointed into the room and said, "this where mommy sleeps". I guess daddy doesn't??? She then showed her her bedroom (which she loved), followed by the playroom. I think the social workers eyes about popped out of her head when she saw all the toys. Yeah, she is one spoiled child...wall to wall toys. Hey, every child needs a room like that especially when she has so many friends that come over to play with her. Lydia finished giving her the tour of our house and then we answered the remaining of the questions. Lydia just sat on the floor and played and then climbed up on the couch next to us and read a book...she was REALLY a perfect angel.
Within the next few weeks we should have our homstudy completed. The only thing we are waiting on is for both of our medicals to be mailed to the agency and Justin needs to finish the required readings. As soon as everything is turned in she can type up our homestudy and we can begin applying for loans and grants...pray that we get at least one grant and approved for the adoption loan.
We also spoke about the child desired...again. Justin and I are 100% ready to have a second child period. Justin believes that we will get matched with a healthy child much sooner than they are suggesting. I on the other hand feel like it is going to take years, especially since we can't turn in any of our paperwork until November. Think of how many families could get in front of us in the next few months? The social worker thinks that we could get matched in 6-12 months (possibly later) once all of our paperwork is in. So if we turn in everything in November we could possibly be matched the following November, but will still have to wait 3-6 months to travel putting us well into 2011. Really??? Can I wait until 2011 to be placed with another baby?
Our social worker suggested that we go ahead and list some of the minor special needs that we will be willing to accept on our homestudy. She believes that there is a chance that we could get matched with a minor/correctable SN child faster and possibly have them home by the end of next year. We decided to go ahead and list a few that we knew or hopefully know we can handle. We listed minor heart condition, jaundice, malnutrition, club feet, webbed fingers/toes, extra fingers/toes, cleft lip/palate, minor developmental delays, and some male disorders. On both the healthy and SN list we said we were open to a child up to 18 months, preferably as young as possible.
I know I just need to sit back and relax and everything will work out according to God's plan. Our baby will be here before we know it...even if it does seem like forever.
Within the next few weeks we should have our homstudy completed. The only thing we are waiting on is for both of our medicals to be mailed to the agency and Justin needs to finish the required readings. As soon as everything is turned in she can type up our homestudy and we can begin applying for loans and grants...pray that we get at least one grant and approved for the adoption loan.
We also spoke about the child desired...again. Justin and I are 100% ready to have a second child period. Justin believes that we will get matched with a healthy child much sooner than they are suggesting. I on the other hand feel like it is going to take years, especially since we can't turn in any of our paperwork until November. Think of how many families could get in front of us in the next few months? The social worker thinks that we could get matched in 6-12 months (possibly later) once all of our paperwork is in. So if we turn in everything in November we could possibly be matched the following November, but will still have to wait 3-6 months to travel putting us well into 2011. Really??? Can I wait until 2011 to be placed with another baby?
Our social worker suggested that we go ahead and list some of the minor special needs that we will be willing to accept on our homestudy. She believes that there is a chance that we could get matched with a minor/correctable SN child faster and possibly have them home by the end of next year. We decided to go ahead and list a few that we knew or hopefully know we can handle. We listed minor heart condition, jaundice, malnutrition, club feet, webbed fingers/toes, extra fingers/toes, cleft lip/palate, minor developmental delays, and some male disorders. On both the healthy and SN list we said we were open to a child up to 18 months, preferably as young as possible.
I know I just need to sit back and relax and everything will work out according to God's plan. Our baby will be here before we know it...even if it does seem like forever.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Adoption Physicals
A couple of months ago we had our adoption physicals performed for our original homstudy. After switching to the new agency we found out that a few more questions/test had to be run so we scheduled an appointment for this morning. This agency wanted an HIV and urine drug screen...Justin was less than thrilled. Justin just about passes out just by looking at the needle, not even to mention the blood. Every time he gets his blood drawn they have to move him to a reclining chair or bed and get his levels back to normal before they can release him (usually takes another 30 minutes or so after waiting for what seems like forever). So as we are driving to the doctors Justin is already getting worked up and is starting to sweat a little. When we get to the doctors office I went in first and let them ask me questions, gave them a urine sample, and then they drew my blood. Next, Justin's turn. I was prepared. I had a bag full of sweets to help him out. Me and another lady were joking right outside of the lab to see how long it would take to hear a thumb (being Justin hitting the floor), when he walked out of the lab. My first instinct was the nurse wasn't ready or he backed out. Nope, he was done. It didn't even phase him. I was so proud of my big guy...lol.
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