Grant update

It has been 2.5 weeks since we have sent out 120 letters to our friends and family. This morning we contacted our grant agency to see how our matching grant was coming along. As of this afternoon, we have had a total of 13 families who have donated totalling $1580. We are overjoyed that these families are willing to help us out in our time of need. God has been so good to us!

Back to church

Justin and I have been wanting to go back to church for several months now. Every Sunday we seemed to make some kind of excuse on why we couldn't make it to the service. This week, we told each other that WE ARE going to church. We both woke up extremely tired, it was spitting snow and it looked so cold as we peered out the window. That was not going to stop us this morning. This was a different kind of day...a fresh start to the new week. We got up, took showers, fixed our hair, put on our Sunday best and out the door we went:)

Before the sermon even started, we felt like we were exactly where we were suppose to be. We didn't know anyone around us, but yet we still felt the love and suport of those around us. No matter what kind of emotions we are feeling or what kind of situation we are going through, being present in our church and hearing God's message hits home every time.

The verse that touched my heart this morning was, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8. This is so true. God has a perfect plan for our family and in his timing our child will come home to his/her forever family. Thank you God for leading us back to worship you this morning.

Adoption Fundraiser Event

ONE

Today marks one month since our dossier arrived in Taiwan! In ways it seems like we have been waiting forever, but on a positive note...we are one month closer to having our child home:) We are so blessed to be on this journey. We have met many wonderful families through our adoptions and are forever grateful for them. We are thankful for our loved ones that have offered encouraging words, support, and love throughout this process. Also, we could not be more excited about the grant we have so graciously been given...God works in wonderful ways.

We need your help!

Lifesong for Orphans (lifesongfororphans.org) combined with the Louisville Orphan Care Initiative (louisvilleorphancare.com) has graciously given us a Matching Grant of $4,000 to help bring our child home. The grant deadline is January 25th 2010.

We need your help to reach our goal! If you or someone you know would like to support our adoption, please make checks payable to: “LifeSong for Orphans”, clearly noting in the memo line, “Cravens Adoption #1038”.

Contact us if you have any questions about the grant process.

Checks can be mailed to:

Lifesong for Orphans
ATTN: Cravens Adoption #1038
P.O. Box 40 / 202 N. Ford St.
Gridley, IL 61744

Letters are on there way!

Just finished writing, signing, folding, stuffing, stamping and addressing nearly 100 letters for our matching $4000 grant....praying we can meet our goal by the deadline to ensure our child coming home to his/her forever family!

Busy, Busy, Busy

We have been working like crazy to come up with fundraising ideas for our grant we received. We heard from them at the beginning of the week, and we have until January 25, 2010 to raise $4000. It doesn't seem possible, but we are not giving up.

The grant organization suggested that we send out a letter to all our family and friends and tell them our story and ask for a donation to bring our child home. We feel bad asking anyone for anything, but God has put this adoption on our hearts, and we will do whatever it takes to bring this child home.

So for the last couple of days we have been gathering addresses and writing our grant letter. Last night I addressed over 90 letters while Justin put a stamp on each one. We put the finishing touches on our letter this afternoon and added a picture of our family this far.

We are also planning a few other fundraisers, hopefully one this month and one in January. We are working with All About Kids and Puzzles to set aside a night for us and they will generously donate a percentage of the money from that evening to our grant.

I pray that God will lead your hearts to help us with our adoption so that a new little one will join our family soon!

Praising God!!!!!

Today we are praising God for answering one of our biggest prayers...a grant for our adoption. One of the organizations that we applied to called us this morning to let us know that we have been given a $4000 matching grant. We are so thankful for this opportunity and are going to work like crazy to raise $4000 (or more) so that we will have $8000 to put towards the adoption. We haven't exactly figured out what our fundraiser(s) will be yet, but we are narrowing down the list.

We actually got a call from them two Thursdays ago, but Justin had his phone on silent and didn't see the missed call until they had already left for the day...also learned they are only there on Thursdays:( So the next Thursday, we received another call (this time Justin is sick in bed flu symptoms and could barely talk). They asked if anything had changed financially with our adoption and if we were still proceeding to adopt from Taiwan. She said that they were going to review the remaining files and get back with us within the next week or two.

One week and one day later we got the call...and it couldn't have came at a better time. I was having a rough day with all three kids and I honestly didn't know how I was going to make it through the day...it was only 10:00:( Justin called to tell me the good news and it instantly put a smile on my face. We were very fortunate to get the $4000...they give between $1-4000 so we got the max. They will be calling us within the next few weeks and sending a packet of information on what to do next. We are so excited and grateful for this opportunity. Now if only a few more agencies would give us a call:)

Dossier in Taiwan

We just received an email from the Kansas office stating that our dossier has arrived in Taiwan. This is going to be a GREAT day!

Happy "5" Anniversary and DTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today Justin and I (Lydia as well) celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary, but more importantly we are Dossier to Taiwan. Our agency called this morning to let us know that no corrections were needed and they are going to send our dossier that afternoon. They will call to let us know when our dossier has arrived and the (hopefully not so long) wait will begin:)

Even though it doesn't really matter (since the birth mother picks the adoptive family) we requested information on how many people are in the program and how many are requesting boys with special needs. There are 19 families with dossiers in Taiwan (which makes us number 20) and of those 19, five are open to a boys with special needs (making us number six:) It makes us feel a little better knowing that there are not hundreds in front of us waiting for a child.

We also found out that once our birth mom letter and our profile book are translated we will be shown to a birth mom as soon as the criteria is met. Some of the other agencies we have been reading about online only show a few at a time resulting in long waits of even being shown.

Please pray for our family during the rest of the journey to our new love, as well as our child and his/her birth family.

The boy

As most of you know, Justin and I requested more information on a little boy from Taiwan. We saw his sweet little face on a waiting child list when we were putting the finishing touches on our home study. After reading many adoption (not so much support groups) we have felt uneasy about the extended wait periods. I got on our agencies waiting child list a few weeks ago, and saw his sweet face once more. Justin and I discussed requesting more information on him and we could go from there.

A few days later our agency sent us an email with a new updated picture (which was the first thing to pop up) and then new updated information. He was absolutely adorable and just melted our hearts. He seemed to be a very happy and active little boy. He was diagnosed at 2 months with a pretty severe special need, but from his profile he only had a mild case. We asked for more specific medical information and prayed a hundred times for God to lead us in the right direction.

We spoke with many friends and family and asked for their support and thoughts about him. We would have loved for this little boy to join our family, but there were so many uncertainties. Without further information, we just couldn't go forward. After not hearing back from our agency, we contacted them once again about his medicals. They then informed us that he had been referred to another family. As hard as it was to let him go I know that God has great plans for this little boy and his forever family. I know our little one is out there and waiting for us. We just need to be patient and wait...something I am not good at.

Catching Up!

After recieving our photobook in the mail on Thursday, Justin drove up to Indy on Friday to turn in our completed dossier:) They reviewed over our files and said it would go out in the mail that day to the Kansas office. We got word that they recieved our dossier today and would be revivewing it over the next couple of days. If no corrections need to be made, then we will be DTT (Dossier to Taiwan) on November 6 (our five year anniversary).

Moving right along!

This morning, we heard from our social worker about making the changes to our 171-H. At this time, the agency feels that we need to go ahead and submit all of our paperwork as is and as soon as possible. That way it insures our spot in the program. Then, if we are receive a referral of a special needs child we will revise our 171-H at that time. I am kind of worried about this, and just wish they would go ahead and let us make these changes now. What if we do get a special needs referral, will this delay our process? What if the USCIS office doesn't approve us and we have to deny this referral?

Anyways, we ordered our photobook today for the birthmother to look through. We overnighted it so we should receive it by the end of the week. We are hoping to drive it up to Indy and personally hand deliever the completed dossier on Friday.

Awww, this is all starting to feel real!

Update on 171-H

Late yesterday evening, the senators office emailed us a copy of the 171-H. We quickly glanced at it and just started jumping up and down in excitement. Unfortunately, when we took a closer look at it the section that describes the child we are approved to adopt, it wasn't exactly what we requested. It stated that we were eligible to adopt one child, ages 0-18 months, of either gender. What it did not state is that we are open to adopt a child with special needs.

We contacted our program coordinator asking her what this meant. She said that this happens often and that she believes she can take care of the situation for us on Monday. We asked if they just didn't approve us to adopt a special needs child due to money or resources, and she didn't see any reason why they would have said no.

Even with the misunderstanding, we are still able to turn in our dossier before the deadline. Yeah, for that!!! Now we just wait to see what our coordinator finds out to see what our next step is.

171-H Approval!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since being fingerprinted on Tuesday, we have been working like crazy trying to finish up the needed paperwork to turn in our dossier. We have completed everything except for the family photo album and are awaiting the approval of our 171-H.

Since we feel like we are not going to meet the deadline in time, Justin decided to go ahead and contact the senator and congressman. He faxed over a letter explaining our situation and asked for their help getting our 171-H approval. Within an hour Justin received a call from the senator's office asking for further information.

This afternoon, we received another call from his office stating that they had our 171-H in their hands and would be mailing it out that day. PRAISE GOD!!!!! Nothing could have made this day any better. This is actually going to work out for us, and are finally getting closer to being a family of four:)

Fingerprinted!!!

After learning of the changes with the Taiwan program we immediately spoke with our program coordinator to see what we should do to get our case moving. She (and several friends) suggested that we go to our local office and ask them if we could move our fingerprint appointment up, or possibly get fingerprinted that day. We made an info pass for this morning to speak with someone about our case. That office told us they could not help us because our home office was in Indy, but pointed us in the direction of someone who could.

We walked into the office and Justin proceeded to tell them about the changes in Taiwan and asked if there was any way to get fingerprinted at an earlier date. They asked if we have been notified with a letter stating a day and time and asked if we could verify that we had it. Justin pulled out the letter and the man read over it and asked us to step over to the other side of the office and fingerprinted us right then. They were extremely nice and helpful.

We asked how long it usually took, and the man said that since everything is done electronically, our fingerprints have already been sent to the main office and we should be receiving our 171-H within the next 6-8 weeks:)

TAIWAN change - URGENT - PLEASE READ!!

These are the words I read this morning as I opened our email. My heart just about fell out of my chest. I was hesitant to even open it in fear of what it was going to say...and then I read this:

Effective immediately:
Cathwel has just changed their policy for adoptive applicants’ ages. Both adoptive applicants must be between the ages of 30-39 years of age at time of dossier submission effective January 1, 2010.

What does this mean for families currently in process outside of this age range?
All families currently in process outside of the new age range of 30-39 years old need to have their initial dossier sent to me by December 10, 2009. These families currently in process MUST have their dossier in Taiwan before the end of December if outside of the age range indicated above.

If you do not have the family’s dossier sent to me by December 10, 2009, I will not be able to send your family’s dossier to Taiwan. If not received by this date indicated, the family will be ineligible to adopt from Cathwel due to the new age restrictions that Cathwel is setting for our families.

We apologize for any inconvenience or problems this will cause for you or your families. As we all know, international adoption often has abrupt changes outside of our control. We will keep you informed as information comes our way as always.


My head literally fell into my hands and I started crying. I couldn't even catch my breath. Our dreams once again of us becoming parents to a second child just seem to be slipping even farther away. How can this be happening to us again? This is just not fair. Why don't we deserve this?

I immediately called Justin to see if he had read the email. I asked him to call the agency to see what we are suppose to do now. I told him that if this is the end of the road for us that I wanted a 100% refund of the $8000 we just sent them weeks before.

Justin called the agency shortly after and they said that they didn't even flag our case. They said we are the farthest family in the program, and basically if we didn't get in...no one is getting in. There are families still working on their homestudies that are trying to make this deadline. The estimated time frame for the 171-H is 2.5 months for Indy and 5.3 months for Louisville...just depends on which office they use. Even if they go through the Indy office, our paperwork wasn't filed until September 29 which means we still will not meet the deadline. So unless some small miracle happens...we will no longer be eligible to adopt from Taiwan.

So our next question was, "if we don't make the deadline, we want our fees back". Well, here we go again. Since we signed a non-refundable contract with Bethany our fees can not be returned. So we are either out $8000 or we switch to another program. The only other program we are eligible for is Ethiopia and possibly there domestic program (we have to have a letter from our pastor, which we can not get). We are just sick about this whole situation. We have spent most of the last two days crying and praying.

Please pray for our family and that we get to continue with our adoption to Taiwan.

Fingerprint appointment

Today we received notice that our fingerprint appointment will be on October 29. We were thrilled to learn that we do not have to drive up to Indy since there is now an office in Louisville. We have been working very hard on finishing up our dossier documents so that we can turn them in as soon as possible. The only thing we have left is our family album and our 171-H. Here's to hoping for a fast return:)

Options

UPDATE: The only reason we would be doing any of this is because "we will have another child". No matter what it takes, this child will be coming home. It is just temporary. If we sold the truck and moved back to the apartment for a year or two (or until our child is home) we would financially able to buy another home...a home that fits our growing family, in a more diverse area, with a school system where our kids will not only learn but be accepted and have children of a similar background. We aren't just going to jump into any of this. These are just "options" so that our children can have the best future possible. We spoke with our agency before all of this and they believe that as long as our "new home" was presentable they don't see a huge deal with it. The only thing they are worried about still is the positive net worth. As far as a boy, their is no law that states a boy and a girl can not share the same room. Our agency said as long as they weren't together for a long period of time they see nothing wrong with it. We still have not completely said no to this idea, we are just trying to figure out the best thing for our family and our second child.

So Justin and I have done more thinking this weekend about how to raise money for our adoption and how to pay off previous debt. Some of our fundraising ideas sound great, but once we think about how much money we will have to put into it to supply food-activities-prizes...we aren't making much of a profit. We also contacted All About Kids to see about setting up a day to help raise funds but they told us that was for an employee and was a one time thing (even though then they stated it was going to be an annual event) and to talk to management...never got a call back:( Most of the grants we are wanting to apply for want a letter of reference from your church and since we aren't members of a small group within our church they can only say we are members and not actually give a reference. All of this just makes me wonder if we will get any assistance and have to come up with the remaining money on our own.

Other options we were thinking about is selling our tractor, Justin's truck, and our house. None of these options would be easy, but would save us money each month and help to pay down debt. If we were to sell the truck we could get rid of that payment and with the profit pay off one credit card, saving us nearly $450 per month:) If we sell our house and get what it appraises for (even though we have lost money in the last year) and move back into an apartment, we could pay off our other credit card and save another $300 per month:) This would leave us with only the upcoming adoption expenses, our van payment, and the remainder of my school loans.

By moving back to the apartment we would be saving almost $750 a month and would be within minutes of work and Lydia's school. This makes it easier if we only had one vehicle. We would be able to pay off other debt in the next year or so, actually get out of the house we are living in now (not that the house is bad), but I am tired of the drive and the pantsless neighbor:( It would also give us the opportunity to do "extra" things with the Lydia (and our second child) like sporting activities, movies, and playdates. We could even see a family vacation in our future and possibly visiting the kids birth countries again when they are older and helping them pay there way through school.

The down fall is that we would no longer have a yard for Lydia to play. We couldn't go outside and just sit on our back porch and enjoy some fresh air. Lydia wouldn't have the interaction with neighborhood children like she would have if we stayed in our house. As far as the adoption goes, we would have to change some of our paperwork and possibly delaying our process. We would also have to redo part of our photo book for the birthmother, and then their is the question of will she still pick us considering our living situation? Will a birthmother even be choosing us since we will possibly be getting matched with a special needs child?

Every one is just quick to judge when the situation comes up. You guys need a house. Lydia needs a yard. You need to vehicles. Yes, all of that is true. But what if it comes down to we don't have the money? Do we just drop out and say forget it? I just want to be prepared and possibly have a little extra money at the end of the month, instead of wondering how we are going to make that payment.

I so badly just want to sit back and just have faith that this is all going to work out, but it is so hard. I want to bring my next child home and know that we are going to be ok with the decisions that we have made.

Yard Sale

The yard sale was a huge success! We made just over $750 and have a few items left that we are going to put on ebay/craigslist. It was hard to let some of the items go (especially some of Lydia's baby toys and little outfits), but it is all worth it.

We are planning a few more fund-raising ideas, but if you have anything in mind that we can do to raise a few bucks send your ideas our way. As of right now we are thinking of doing a bunco/bingo party with prizes that will hopefully be donated. A baby bottle fund...we will send a baby bottle to our family and friends trying to collect anything from change to whatever they have to spare. One of the local gymnastics centers (as well as Texas Roadhouse) has a day were you can play/eat and a percentage of the proceeds will go towards our adoption.

In other news...we received our official homestudy on Saturday. Justin is sending one of the copies up to Indianapolis today for the I-600A so that we can get
our fingerprints and complete the dossier. We are still so far away, but every little step helps:)

You can turn a little bit of this...


into a whole lot of this!

Update...

Have I mentioned before how amazing our new social worker is:) Within an hour of her leaving our house last Friday, she emailed us with at least half of the answers to some questions we had. She informed us that the paper stated incorrectly and that the wait starts when the dossier is turned in (which we originally were told), if we choose a waiting child or get matched with a child with special needs our fees can/will be reduced, and some other information regarding grants.

Also, after many days of talking, thinking, and praying about the little boy's file we were presented with last week, we decided that at this time we would not be able to proceed. Some of his needs could have been more serious than we are willing to take at this point and honestly we just do not have another $10,000 lying around to give them for referral. It was so hard to say no to but I know that his family is out there waiting for him.

Speaking of money, we are doing one of our fund-raising ideas this weekend. Nothing huge, just a yard sale of all the "extra" things lying around the house. We have decided to go through the mounds of clothing and toys we have in the house and only keep what really fits and gets played with the most. We are also going through all of the baby items we have and see what we can get out of them. Since almost everything is for a girl (and we have a strong feeling that our next child will be a boy) we are going to sale as much as we can and then once our child is home buy for him/her age appropriate toys and clothing. I am also putting all of my longaberger baskets and boyds bears in there too. It's a little sad to see them go, but I would much rather see another child running around the house than those baskets collecting dust:)

Well off to pack up the van for the sale tomorrow...wish us luck!

New Social Worker

This morning we meet with our new social worker...she is wonderful. From the moment she walked in the door it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of our chests. She was so easy to talk to, told us about her family and how they prepared for their adoption, talked about Lydia and her adoption, and about grants and fundraising options. It was so relaxed and exactly what we needed to give us the push to continue moving forward.

Funny little story...when Justin went to answer the door Lydia followed right behind him. The social worker said hi and introduced herself and saw Lydia standing behind him and said, "you must be Lydia". Lydia took one look at her and said, where's brother or sister, you not bring them with you"....lol. We had previously told her a lady was coming to the house to tell us about brother/sister. I guess she thought she was bringing him/her as well.

Anyways, she answered many of our questions and if she didn't know the answer she was straight forward with us and told us she didn't know but would find out and let us know. A lot better than just plain out telling us she didn't know or making something up like we have dealt with in the past. We spoke with her about the concerns of the homestudy and the financial end of the adoption. She told us that she has not read the homestudy entirely but has read over it enough to tell us there is nothing to worry about. Hearing this now from two different people has helped. As far as the financial end of things she told us where we can find grants and told us to apply for everyone we came across. She also gave us some really good ideas for some fundraising projects.

As far as the grants, we asked what she thought our chances were of getting one. She said that like many loan/credit card companies, they look at your debt to income ratio...which is the reason we have been denied for everything under the sun. Since our debt to income ratio is so high, she told us to write in the comment sections of WHY we have so much debt so that they can understand our situation a little better. By seeing that much of our debt (credit card) is previous/current adoption expenses, school loans, and infertility treatments it looks a lot better than seeing debt for a third car, boat, second house...etc. We pray that we will get one or more of these grants so that some of this financial stress can be lifted.

We also spoke more about time frames and what to expect in the coming months. The main contact person over the Taiwan program spoke with her last night and wanted all of the Taiwan families to prepare for 2 years and if it happens sooner...congratulations. However, this is the quote for a healthy child under the age of 1. Since we are open to a boy up to the age of 2 with a special need it could be sooner. It's just one of those things you never know. We also decided that we wanted to be put on the waiting child list and she presented us with a case today of a little boy from Taiwan that is just over a year old. His needs have not fully been diagnosed and Justin is worried about some of the long term affects. When she showed us his picture my heart just melted, but we need to look more closely at the need and see if he is the right choice for our family.

Another thing we found interesting is that in our homestudy approval letter it stated that our time starts when the homestudy is completed. We found this odd since we were told it doesn't start until the dossier is submitted. If what the paper read is correct we have actually been officialy waiting since July 23. That would be a nice change of pace if that were true:)

Homestudy Approval Letter

This afternoon we recieved our approval letter from the adoption agency stating that our homestudy has been completed. From what I understand it has been completed for awhile now, but since we can't send in our dossier until November they have held it so that the homestudy would have a later date on it incase we have to renew it. The next step is for us to send the first set of fees. This is one of the struggles we have had this far into the adoption. We believe that we have this portion covered and are praying that we will recieve grants for the next set of fees. We have a meeting with our new social worker on Friday mainly just to get to know her better and for her to meet us in person. Since she is also an adoptive mother (who recieved a grant) she is going to help us to figure out which grants to apply for and hopefully she can tell us what she thinks our chances are of recieving help.

Justin and I have also become a little nervous about what the homestudy says regarding some of the issues we discussed with our first social worker. As you already know we have had some issues with our first social worker (lack of contact, misplaced documents, telling us documents weren't needed only to be most important) and since she is new to Bethany and the program is new we were concerned with the wording. Since we can not read the homestudy before sending the fees it made us a bit nervous so Justin called the program cordinator this afternoon to get a sense of ease about the situation. She told us that they have read over the homestudy several times and there is not one negative thing written in it.

During the converstation, she also mentioned that we were the first family to start the process and we will be the first family to complete the process. I am not sure exactly what this means. I do remember when we started this process, she told us we were the first family in Indiana to apply to Bethany for the Taiwan program. However, I don't see how we will (or how they know we will) complete the process first. Do they mean complete the dossier first, get a referral first, travel first, complete the adoption first? I don't know.

I believe our homestudy has been completed before others (not 100% it was first) but since we can't complete our dossier until November I don't see how we can complete the process first. Other's we know have been working on their dossier for awhile now and should be completed before November. Leaving me to wonder if they are just telling us this to make us happy. Also, how do they know we will finish first if we are chosen by a birthmother or caregiver? I know I am reading more into this than I need to, but I feel like we are being thrown through another loop.

I hope after we meet with our new social worker on Friday we will have a better understanding of what is going on and that she has some positive and encouraging news to give us.

Romans 8:28

This morning on my way into work I was flipping through the channels and came across a sermon of the church we used to attend. My mom had told me a day earlier they were talking about adoption so I thought it may have been a series and decided to listen to the message. The preacher was talking about how we have sin in the world and because of that is why certain things go wrong in our life. At the time of these situations, we don't "understand" or "get it" but once it is all said and done we know exactly why it happened.

In the message it talked about a man having a heart attack and a close friend asked if he liked his heart attack, if he would have another, if he would recommend it to a friend. After every question the man so "NO, absolutely not". Then another series of questions were asked. After your heart attack how has your relationship with your wife changed, have you become closer, do you have a new sense of life, do you hold your granddaughter tighter every time you hold her? He soon realized this heart attack was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

At the end of the message he gave a bible verse (Romans 8:28) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. This message is exactly what I needed to hear to get me through these struggles.

In the last few week we have been down on ourselves wondering "why" this is happening to us. "Why" did it take so long to find the right country? "Why are we hitting all the bumps in the road?. "Why are financially unable to adopt a child? "Why" does it feel like everyone is telling us to give up on our dream? Now I feel even worse for doubting God's plan for us. If we stop doubting Him, keep praying, don't give up, and have faith...we will get through this and our second love will come home to us.

Frustrating, Discouraging, Depressing News

So things have started running a bit smoother for us since we have switched social workers (even though we have yet to meet with her). We have been in contact with the program coordinator at least a couple times during the week and she has helped us on what is to happen next. A few days ago we got an email from the agency stating that our old social worker "misplaced" some of our documents and we need to have them redone. It's nothing major, but it's just the point that she can't do anything right. The documents missing are one of our reference letters and our special needs checklist. Thank goodness the letter was able to be resent and we have been working on our checklist...hopefully for the last time. Once all of the documents are submitted our homestudy will finally be sent our way...that is after we send them $7900.

So after clearing up that mess, Justin thought it was time to officially apply for the adoption loan. He has spoke with the bank on several occasions since starting the new adoption and they went over what requirements had to be meet and the loan terms. He said everything looked good and to go ahead and apply. This adoption loan is a five year loan that you pay at least an interest payment each month. The loan has to be paid in full at the end of five years so you have to make additional payments throughout the loan or more each month. The way it is suppose to be is that you pay the interest each month and then give them your tax return each year...at least your adoption tax credit amount. This worked out perfectly for us. If we continued to get back as much as we have for the past three years the loan payment would be paid off in time. Perfect, we are well on our way to our baby...right?

So yesterday Justin prints off the official application. There weren't many questions on the application and the loan officer acted like everyone gets approved. Yay for us! After filling out the form, Justin sends over our application and calls to make sure the information came across clearly. He said everything looked fine and he would give him a call later on in the day. A few hours later, Justin recieved a call back from there office saying that we had been denied. Justin said that feeling was just like the day when the doctor told him he was infertile. He couldn't breath and had no idea how to break the news to me. He wanted to wait until he got home from work, but I had called him shortly after the news and I could tell something was wrong. I just kind of froze...I couldn't move. So much has been going on lately that I couldn't even cry...no more tears to shed. I can litterally see a baby's picture a few feet in front of me and can almost touch them but instead someone is beating me down with a baseball bat and the pain is unbearable. How can this be happening to us again? How does something that feels so right, seem so far awaay?

We don't even know what to do at this point. Do we still apply for the grants and pray that we get one? Will it even matter...where will the rest of the funds come from? Do we drop out once again and let our dreams of having another child come crashing down? I just don't get it...what have we done to deserve this?

Homestudy completed...and GREAT news!

Today we recieved word that our homestudy has been completed...yay! However, they are not going to send it to us until October 6, so that "hopefully" we won't have to update it before it expires. We have the go ahead to file for our I-600 but have to wait for the grants:( At least it has been completed and we can move onto the next step.

So for the GREAT news...our social worker also informed us that her and her family are moving and she will no longer be our social worker....YIPEE!!!!! No other news could have made our day...well except winning the lottery or a referral...lol. We hope to hear from our new social worker within the next few weeks. Please pray that this social worker will actaully communicate with us and help us throughout the rest of our journey.

Communication...or the lack of

So on June 29th, our social worker sent us an email stating that our homestudy was nearly finished and would be sent to Grand Rapids in the next day or two. Actually the email was asking for when certain documents were completed even though she had the originals (with completed date) in hand but whatever. So in order for us to file for any grants or to start our I-600 we need our completed homestudy. After 2 1/2 weeks of not hearing from our agency we sent an email to our social worker to get an update. (We used email since she does not work in the office and does not have a direct phone to get in contact with).

As of this morning we still have not heard back from them, so Justin emailed her again and the program cordinator. This person apologized for not getting with us sooner but didn't recall the email (it actually wasn't sent to her originally...just wanted her to know what was going on now). In her email back to us she said that our homestudy was still being edited and should be sent to be approved shortly. WHAT????? Almost 3 weeks ago our social worker said it was already edited and would be sent in 1-2 days. I am SOOOOO sick to my stomach about this whole process right now I can't even think straight. We are getting ready to send them $9k...you would think they would have there act together. I know this process isn't easy but do you think we could catch a break somewhere.

This whole communication thing is not working. It seems like no one knows what is going on or what to expect next. The time lines keep changing and the Cathwel yahoo chat group just scares the crap out of us. I know it is a new country for this agency and they are trying to convert everything over, but seriously. Then to make matters worse they match us with a social worker that "works from home". How can you do that line of work from home. UGGHHHHH! If I didn't so badly want another child and a sibling for Lydia I would through my hands up right now and be done with all of this. Why does this have to be so hard?

Operation Smile

The other night we were getting ready to head out the door to go for a walk. It started to get a little cloudy and dark so I ran back in to check the weather channel. When I turned on the tv, I came across a show about cleft lip/palate surgeries. I watched it for a few minutes, and when I noticed a small Asian boy with a cleft lip I was hooked. It is a program called Operation Smile. They are an organization that travels around the world helping children with this need free of charge. The episode I caught was actaully filmed in Vietnam...how crazy was that? As I sat and watched the show I cried, smiled, and became a little bit more at peace knowing that someday I may have a child with this need.

When I got to work this morning I looked up the website to see how we could sponser a child. The first thing I noticed was the section headed "What We Do" and under that heading it talked about their next mission. On July 20-24, 2009 the Operation Smile team will be in Hanoi, Vietnam performing these surgeries. By donating $240 you can help provide a child with a surgery to change their life forever. Do you have a little extra money to spare?

www.operationsmile.org

Taiwan Dossier

Today we FINALLY recieved the requirements for the Taiwan dossier. There isn't much paperwork needed so we probably won't start on it until early September. We did learn a bit more about Taiwan and there program though. We are allowed to pick either gender(however, we are open to either)and the child could be anywhere between 6-18 months in age at time of referral. They are estimating the time frame at this point to be 10-24 months for a healthy infant. It varies in lenght since the birthmothers participate in the selection of a family. If adopting an older child, waiting child, or child with special needs it will be less than 10-24 months. We should expect to travel 4-6 months after referral and will be in country for 4-7 days. If we are able to, we will stay in Taiwan for a few extra days (depending when we will be placed the the child) so that we can attach to the child as much as possible before returning home.

If we recieve the referral of a healthy infant, Cathwel will send us the child's medical and social history and a document entitled Adoption Placement Agreement. One thing that I found odd was that they don't send a picture of the child until after you have accepted the referral. I believe any child that is matched with us was meant to be our child, but not seeing there precious face before we agree to adopt could be hard. If a family is matched with a child with a special need however, a picture will be sent with the medical information. Once we arrive in Taiwan, we will be taken to the Jonah House Orphanage to pick up our child. Oh, what a day that will be.

Adoption Training

This morning we drove up to Indy for our first adoption training meeting. The topic was how to parent/raise a transracial child. As we entered the door we were greated by the agency staff and were given a few worksheets to look over. These exercises were similar to the ones we completed during our first adoption but it never gets any easier. The paper had six scenarios asking how we would react to each of the following situations. I think it is great to be given these examples and to think of how we would respond. However, the more I am given one of these worksheets the more I wonder am I responding the correct way. I never feel like these questions I have are getting answered. What is the right response? Am I responding to this situation to the best of my ability? Am I hurting my child when I confront this person? Am I hurting the person to made the remark? Should I care if I hurt that person? After all, we are only trying to protect our children. That's the kind of class I want to attend.

We also watched several short clips of about transracial adoption and got to hear what these children are faced with as they grow up. It broke my heart hearing some of these stories, and knowing that Lydia and her brother or sister will be faced with them one day to. How do people say the things they say? These children have already been through so much already. They have been ripped from the only home they have ever known. They met new people that look, talk, and smell different from them. They have to adapt to new parents, a new home, food, and the language barrier. These children are so precious...just let them live a happy life without feeling anything less than "normal".

We also learned about how important it is to have transracial friends not only for our children but for us as well. I thought we had a good start since most of our friends have Asian children and then the playgroup we created for adopted children. I never new how important it was for us to have adult Asian friends. It would help us to communicate with someone who has been through some of these situations before and for our children to see an adult that has overcome some of the issues with adoption.

It was also mentioned that we should live in a transracial community...not were we are living now. We have been discussing moving to a more diverse city, I just don't know what city that would be. We looked into moving to Louisville or possibly near Indy but I don't think the schools are much more diverse than the ones in our area. We have thought about sending them to a private school, but how will we ever be able to afford that. We still have a couple of years before Lydia starts school. Hopefully everything will come together by then.

Homestudy Meeting at our House

Tonight we had our last homestudy visit at our house. We have spent the last week painting, organizing, and cleaning. I was actually pretty calm during this interview...the only thing I was a little nervous about is what Lydia might say. She comes up with some of the craziest stories these days. As soon as the social worker arrived, Justin answered the door and Lydia greeted her by saying, "Hi, I Lydia Thu Ha. (She loves using her middle name:) It was the cutest thing and the social worker just smiled and laughed. She then asked if Lydia would give her a tour of the house. Our bedroom is right off the foyer so Lydia pointed into the room and said, "this where mommy sleeps". I guess daddy doesn't??? She then showed her her bedroom (which she loved), followed by the playroom. I think the social workers eyes about popped out of her head when she saw all the toys. Yeah, she is one spoiled child...wall to wall toys. Hey, every child needs a room like that especially when she has so many friends that come over to play with her. Lydia finished giving her the tour of our house and then we answered the remaining of the questions. Lydia just sat on the floor and played and then climbed up on the couch next to us and read a book...she was REALLY a perfect angel.

Within the next few weeks we should have our homstudy completed. The only thing we are waiting on is for both of our medicals to be mailed to the agency and Justin needs to finish the required readings. As soon as everything is turned in she can type up our homestudy and we can begin applying for loans and grants...pray that we get at least one grant and approved for the adoption loan.

We also spoke about the child desired...again. Justin and I are 100% ready to have a second child period. Justin believes that we will get matched with a healthy child much sooner than they are suggesting. I on the other hand feel like it is going to take years, especially since we can't turn in any of our paperwork until November. Think of how many families could get in front of us in the next few months? The social worker thinks that we could get matched in 6-12 months (possibly later) once all of our paperwork is in. So if we turn in everything in November we could possibly be matched the following November, but will still have to wait 3-6 months to travel putting us well into 2011. Really??? Can I wait until 2011 to be placed with another baby?

Our social worker suggested that we go ahead and list some of the minor special needs that we will be willing to accept on our homestudy. She believes that there is a chance that we could get matched with a minor/correctable SN child faster and possibly have them home by the end of next year. We decided to go ahead and list a few that we knew or hopefully know we can handle. We listed minor heart condition, jaundice, malnutrition, club feet, webbed fingers/toes, extra fingers/toes, cleft lip/palate, minor developmental delays, and some male disorders. On both the healthy and SN list we said we were open to a child up to 18 months, preferably as young as possible.

I know I just need to sit back and relax and everything will work out according to God's plan. Our baby will be here before we know it...even if it does seem like forever.

Adoption Physicals

A couple of months ago we had our adoption physicals performed for our original homstudy. After switching to the new agency we found out that a few more questions/test had to be run so we scheduled an appointment for this morning. This agency wanted an HIV and urine drug screen...Justin was less than thrilled. Justin just about passes out just by looking at the needle, not even to mention the blood. Every time he gets his blood drawn they have to move him to a reclining chair or bed and get his levels back to normal before they can release him (usually takes another 30 minutes or so after waiting for what seems like forever). So as we are driving to the doctors Justin is already getting worked up and is starting to sweat a little. When we get to the doctors office I went in first and let them ask me questions, gave them a urine sample, and then they drew my blood. Next, Justin's turn. I was prepared. I had a bag full of sweets to help him out. Me and another lady were joking right outside of the lab to see how long it would take to hear a thumb (being Justin hitting the floor), when he walked out of the lab. My first instinct was the nurse wasn't ready or he backed out. Nope, he was done. It didn't even phase him. I was so proud of my big guy...lol.

Required Reading

Our agency requires adoptive families to read 2-3 books that cover issues that may occur before, during or after the adoption is completed. Our social worker suggested that we read "I wish for you a beautiful life". This book really made you sit back and think about the childs birthmother and gain a better understanding of what she must have went through during her pregnancy and while creating an adoption plan. It not only gave us a chance to see how the birthmothers are feeling, but also gave us some insight on how to address questions our children may have about there adoption in the years to come. I only wish that we could of had more information about Lydia's birthmother/family to share this information with her as she gets older.

Another book that was suggested was "Becoming a Family". This book deals with issues on attachment. Since I feel Lydia never seemed to have any major attachment issues (I believe she was so sick in the beginning and when we made her better she bonded to us fairly well and quickly) we choose to read this book in case the child doesn't bond with us. It was also a very good book...however, the first few chapters really scared me. I almost got to the point were I was questioning the adoption and if we could handle some of the situations that arise. I think having one adoption under our belts has helped. As I read through this book, I took notes on how to handle certain situations and know feel more educated on how to address the situation. If anyone wants a little summer reading to do, these two books are a great choice.

It will all be worth it

Today was such a sad day for daddy...he sold his beloved surround sound speakers. For anyone who doesn't know Justin, those speakers were like his best friend. You could always find him in the living room listening to the radio, playing video games, or watching an old James Bond with those speakers shaking the walls. Even though daddy's speakers will be missed it will all be worth it when our second love comes home to us.

I too have been selling or trying to sell some of my beloved items. I have been collecting Longaberger baskets since I was a little girl and have decided that I would much rather sell them to make some extra money to see another child running around this little house. I am sure that day to will be a sad day. Like I said before, it will all be worth it. Just in the last two months we have already saved and sold items to total $3000. We still have a ways to go but heading in the right direction.

Second Homestudy Meeting

This evening we had our second homestudy meeting. This time around was much better than the first:) No traffic jams, no terrential down pours, wind or hail, and the butterflies have nearly ended. We spoke with our social worker for a little over an hour about our relationship with family members again (mainly just seeing if we have spoken with them about why we feel they are so disconnected this time around), our marriage, parenting styles, etc. The marriage question is always the hardest for me. As we all know I am not the most talkative outgoing person you have ever been around...so you can see how this made me a little uncomfertable. She asked the questions "what attracted you to your spouse", "when did you know you had fallen in love", "how did you know he was the one", "what is the best/worst thing about your marriage"? I don't know, read what I said in the last homestudy or in my 15 page autobiography you are holding. Don't get me wrong, I love Justin and he is a great husband and terrific father...I just don't know how to express it in words in front of a stranger.

So anyways after we managed to get through all of that we discussed more about the child in which we are hoping to adopt. Justin is still a bit scared about adopting a child with special needs and is thinking of just putting on the homestudy that we are only open to healthy infants. I on the other hand feel so deeply about all of these babies and older children and want to give them there forever family as well. If it is just a minor need that can be corected I think we should be open to that child. The social worker told us to discuss it a bit more and to come to a joint decision about it. She also told us to do what is best for our family but to think about how it could affect Lydia. With Lydia being such an active, outgoing child with such a bright personality it may be a bit more difficult to have a child with a specail need. It could possibly hold Lydia back from doing what she wants to do or hurt the child with the need in not being able to participate.

As we were sitting in the office she had just recieved an email with more information about the program. Cathwel is telling all of the agencies to expect a wait of 2 years but things could and have been happening a sooner (referrals have been given to families that have waited between 5-10 months for the past year:) They are expecting the wait for healthy and minor/correctable special needs to be the same. So she said that if we wrote in our homestudy that we would accept a child with additional fingers/toes, club feet, etc. to put that in there and we would still wait the same amount of time...doesn't really make since to me. Are there just as many healthy children as children with sn? The children that they refer out weekely are severe special needs or older children. At this time I don't think we will accept any of those emails...knowing me I will say yes to all.

So far I am happy with the agency and how things are going. The only down fall I have is the gap between the old agency and the new one. Bethany bought out Shiloh and they are still coverting everything over and our office is still trying to gather information. So when we ask a question about Taiwan it usually has to go through 2-3 different people and then back to us. Usually after they have "finally" answered our question we have another that goes along with it...kind of frustrating but we will work through it. Next meeting is on Tuesday at the house...better get cleaning...lol:)

First Homestudy meeting

As nervous as could be, Justin and I headed to Indianapolis late this afternoon for our first homestudy meeting. Even though we have been through this process once before we were still unsure of what this agency would ask/say and how well we would connect with our new social worker. So off we go with butterflies in our belly. As we turned onto the "circle" around Indianapolis it started to sprinkle. About ten miles down the road and five minutes from the agency our drive came to a complete stop. We planned for extra time which was good, but weren't expecting the type of weather we were about to encounter. Torrential down pours, gusty winds of at least 60 mph causing a tree limb to fall within feet of the truck, and dime-nickel size hail. The hail was hitting the truck so hard I thought the windshield was going to crack. We finally made it to our exit (or what we thought was our exit) only to find that the streets were flooded. Cars and trucks were up to there tires in water. All we could do was laugh...really what could we do.

We finally made our way through the traffic and flooded streets to the adoption agency...with a few minutes to spare. Our social worker on the other hand did not. She was about 30 minutes late due to the weather, traffic, and power outages. Besides all of that our meeting went fairly well. She seems really nice and our personalities match. We discussed basic information on why we choose adoption as a way to build our family, how Lydia's adoption went and how she is doing now. We talked about our childhood and our relationships with our parents then and now. That one was really difficult for us. With Lydia's adoption almost everyone "seemed" to be on board. The ones that made negative comments couldn't live without her and the other's just don't come around. For this adoption, no one has really given us their blessing or congratulations. It is really hard for us not knowing if our family is on board with us adopting another child.

I don't know if they think we aren't ready to parent another child, if we aren't financially ready to take on more debt, or exactly what the whole issue is. Everyone just seems to be so involved with my sister and her baby. I don't blame them...we are about to have a "baby" in the family and I couldn't be happier for them, but we need support and encouragement through this process as well. I know they don't fully understand and aren't as educated as we are but they need to see that we can't go through this alone. Anyways, hopefully things will get better as we get farther along in our process and that they actually see that this time it is going to work...pray!

Back to the homestudy, some things have changed since we originally talked to them. We were to do 8-10 hours of training on the Internet (Taiwan is not Hague, but they are wanting us to do everything to Hague standards in case it changes in the middle)and that was it. Our social worker wants us to read two book on attachment and about the birth mothers. I think both of them are great books and will help us out once the child is home. We also have to attend to educational meetings at our agency sometime within the next year. They also mentioned that since this is a new program to the agency they are considering calling it a pilot program which is were each of the fees are reduced. This would help us out tremendously so keep your fingers crossed it gets passed.

We found out a bit more about the country and how they do things (it is still kind of hard to get a direct answer since they just opened the program and they are getting questions from us and then going back to the old agency and then answering our question). The birth mother does pick the family unless it is a waiting child. The waiting child or special needs program is a bit different to. They will send out an email with all of the children available to all of the families in the program. If you are open to a child of that age or with that specific need you send them back an email letting them know you are interested in that child. After a 24 hour period they take all the entries and give more information and a referral to family that said yes that has been waiting the longest. In a way I think it is good, but then again it's going to be hard to see pictures of all of these children thinking could this be the one.

We meet with our social worker again next Tuesday and then she will be doing our home visit following that visit. Keep us, our baby, and his/her birth parents in your prayers.

Unexpected News

Justin came home from work this evening and let me know that the adoption agency contacted him in regards to a few questions we had and to inform us about the orphange in which the child would be from. Bethany/Shiloh works with Cathwel...don't know how I feel about this. There are a lot of families in this program and have been waiting a while to get their referral. According to another agency we don't meet the criteria for Cathwel...over 30, married 5 years, income. I don't know if it is an agency requirement or an orphange requirement. Our agency hasn't mentioned anything yet...so we will see.

Another bit of information we got is that the birth mother's are involved in picking the adoptive family. I wasn't ready for information like this. One of the reasons we didn't go forward with the domestic adoption is because we had to be picked. In a way I think it is a good thing...but then I get the feeling that we will never get picked. We are young and already have a child from Asian, but once they see our picture are they going to run? I can't write to save my life so our birth mother letter and our profile book is scaring me to death right now. I know I can do it if I really put my mind to it...but will it be good enough?.

Social Worker

Our social worker contacted us today to set up a time for us to meet to go over our homestudy documents so we can get things rolling. We are going to meet on June 2 & 9th in Indianapolis and she will do a home visit on June 16th. We should be receiving a packet of information regarding the 8-10 hours of adoption training that must be completed before our homestudy can be approved. Since this is our second adoption they are waiving the 3 books they ask you to read and the workbook that goes along with it...shew, glad we got out of that one.

Dr's. Appointment

Today Justin and I meet with Lydia's pediatrician to discuss our special needs list that our adoption agency had given us. At this time, we are looking into minor special needs that can be corrected. We researched each need and marked yes to the ones we felt the most comfertable with and then disscussed the rest with the doctor to see what treatment was needed and the long term effects. In a way he was helpful, but then it just got confusing. He kept telling us, "yes, this is nothing serious to worry about. I would accept a child with this need. It could be corrected...if not already corrected and they would live a normal life." Then he would say, "I would be willing to discuss these needs in more detail. Most of them could be a simple fix...unless xxx had happened." He said that about a lot of situations. That's when it started to get confusing.

We know some of the needs we will be willing to take. Then there are a few we would be willing to discuss. However, we don't want a list with a few yes' and a few no's and then 20 willing to discuss. We are afraid that if we do, they will present us with a file that we are not 100% comfertable with and say no...something we don't want to do. Then what if we do say no and are presented with another file that is something similar or a need caused by a head trama or phycological disorder (as our dr. stated). We don't want to keep turning down files and then being pushed out of the program because we are not willing to accept a child.

At this point we are still unsure what we are going to accept or not accept. During our homestudy visit one of our questions is going to be what are the common needs that the children have and go from there.

Accidental Adoption

I found this on another adoptive families blog awhile back and came across it again today. I think it is so funny...and true!


Her: "Honey, sit down. I need to tell you something."

Him: "Sure, Sweetheart. You can tell me anything."

Her: "We're expecting a baby!"

Him: "Honey, how did this happen? I thought we were being so careful."

Her: "Well, I accidentally googled adoption when I tripped and fell on the computer and it pulled up the site of a great adoption agency."

Him: "O.k. We can handle this. It's not so bad."

Her: "Wait, there's more... After I saw the website I sent off for more information."

Him: "And?"

Her: "When it came in the mail, I filled out a seven page application and sent in a few hundred dollars."

Him: "And that's it? I thought it would be harder to adopt."

Her: "It is. After that I cleaned the house for a good two weeks so a social worker could come and inspect our lives. She brought over loads of paperwork that would only fit in an 18ft moving van. She said it was the beginning of the 'paperchase'. But I worked hard and wrote all of the essays, filled out all of the papers. I went to 20 hours of adoption parenting classes. I had to have my fingerprints taken and get state and FBI criminal clearances. I had all the papers notarized, certified, and authenticated in Washington, D.C. I'm surprised you haven't noticed that I took out a second mortgage on the house to pay all of the bills."

Him: "Accidents happen, Sweetheart. I'm just glad that you and the baby are o.k. When should we be expecting our bundle of joy?"

Her: "Sometime in the next year or two."

Phone Interview

Today we had our phone interview with the adoption agency. Our coordinator went over basic information and what to expect in the upcoming months. We have been assigned a case worker and can begin working on our homestudy...again. They estimated that it would take 2-3 months to complete the homestudy and then we could begin our dossier which takes another 4-6 months. We are going to try and complete them both as soon as possible. However, we can not officially turn in our dossier until November (which is when we have been married for five years).

They are still estimating 18-24 months for a referral but to be prepared soon (whatever that means). We asked if there was a shorter time frame for boys and she was surprised that we wanted a boy...most people want a girl. She told us she would look into it and let us know. We also asked about their special needs and waiting child program. Justin and I have talked about adopting an older child (up to the age of two) and possibly a child with a minor correctable need. We are going to consult the doctor next week on what needs we feel comfortable being matched with.

So off on the paperchase we go!

Let the journey begin...again

We never knew how difficult it would be to find our second love. From one country to the next, to infertility treatments to domestic, back to international adoption...we believe we have finally found our match.

After the adoption of our first child (Lydia) from Vietnam, we knew that we would one day adopt again. No words can describe how wonderful adoption is or the journey it takes to bring that little one home to their forever family. Having a houseful of children has always been a dream of ours. After learning of our infertility issues, we felt like these dreams were quickly fading away. When we were introduced to international adoption and completed the journey to Vietnam, we knew we would adopt again. Right before Lydia turned two, so in June, we started looking into international adoption once again. We so badly wanted to adopt a sibling from Vietnam but they were closing in just a few short months and time did not allow us to get the needed documents to finish before the deadline. After researching many countries we decided to apply to South Korea. We loved the program, country, the time frame, and age of the child seemed to fit so perfectly. Unfortunately after being accepted on three different levels we ended up having to drop out of the program.

We looked into several other countries but nothing seemed to fit...we were either too young, not married long enough, or the program was too expensive. We started looking into other options such as domestic adoption or infertility treatments. Neither one of us was very keen on the idea of a domestic adoption (even though we believe all children need a loving family) and looked into doing artificial insemination with donor sperm. Since we wanted more Asian children we decided to use an Asian donor...a Vietnamese donor to be more specific. Unfortunately, after two failed attempts (one being on Thanksgiving day and the other on Christmas) and heartache we did not proceed with any further treatment.

At this point we didn't know where to turn. We could just wait it out for Vietnam to reopen, look more into domestic, or just stop all together...but that is easier said than done. We decided to look more into domestic adoption. Our homestudy agency also places children but the wait seemed like forever. They quoted us anywhere between 2 weeks to 3 years...most families being picked were young with no children. Plus we really wanted the whole travel experience so that this next child could have that "special" place just like thier big sister. We went back and forth for months thinking is this what we really want to do.

So back on the international adoption band wagon. Do we try to lose the weight and reapply for Korea or do we look into other countries? Since Korea only accepts applications one time a year we decided to look into Taiwan and Thailand. At the time, both programs were nearly the same...same time frame, money, age of child at referral. When it came down to deciding, we choose to go with the Thailand program. It was close to Vietnam and they would use our existing homestudy that was nearly finished. We submitted our pre-application and were accepted...we were told that it is very hard to get accepted for a healthy infant.

After joining the adoption support group for Thailand and hearing from other PAP we started to worry. They were quoted a 2 year wait and have been waiting for nearly 3 years and still no news. We were told that Thailand was always a slow moving program and since they became hague they were being even more cautious. Again, we didn't know whether to go forward or to keep looking.

A few weeks later we got a call from Bethany Christian Services out of Indianapolis informing us that the Korea program was reopening and wanted to know if we were still interested. Well of course we said yes, but knew what had to be done. They gave us a week to decide if we wanted to go forward. We talked about it every night (we even asked Lydia's opinion and she said , "no want no babies"...I think she is just as tired of us talking about it as we are looking for it). They called back and we discussed our concerns. We were told that they could leave us on the list for six months...giving me time to lose the weight. We still had to pay the upfront fees and if I wasn't below the weight requirement we would be removed from the list and would have lost the money.

We told the social worker this was just something we couldn't do. We don't have the money now...and we don't know how we are going to get the money then, but it is something we so desire. It isn't like we are going off and buying a new house, car, or boat. We want to experience this journey all over...to parent another child...to give a child a loving family and a place to call home.

Just at that moment the social worker asked if we looked into the Taiwan program. We told her the whole story about how we haven't been married long enough and they wouldn't use our homestudy...yada yada yada. She then informed us that they just took over an agency out of Kansas and they were placing healthy infants in 18-24 months but to be financially ready SOON! (The last referral was 2 months old and they waited 9 months). We knew we had to jump at this chance...we knew this had to be our chance to adopt our second child, travel to a new country and experience their culture.

We have spent the last week gathering financial information, writing 15 page autobiographies, and we just sent in our contract. In the coming weeks the agency will conduct a phone interview with us and we can start our homestudy. It feels so good to FINALLY be on a list and starting the journey to our second love.