Options

UPDATE: The only reason we would be doing any of this is because "we will have another child". No matter what it takes, this child will be coming home. It is just temporary. If we sold the truck and moved back to the apartment for a year or two (or until our child is home) we would financially able to buy another home...a home that fits our growing family, in a more diverse area, with a school system where our kids will not only learn but be accepted and have children of a similar background. We aren't just going to jump into any of this. These are just "options" so that our children can have the best future possible. We spoke with our agency before all of this and they believe that as long as our "new home" was presentable they don't see a huge deal with it. The only thing they are worried about still is the positive net worth. As far as a boy, their is no law that states a boy and a girl can not share the same room. Our agency said as long as they weren't together for a long period of time they see nothing wrong with it. We still have not completely said no to this idea, we are just trying to figure out the best thing for our family and our second child.

So Justin and I have done more thinking this weekend about how to raise money for our adoption and how to pay off previous debt. Some of our fundraising ideas sound great, but once we think about how much money we will have to put into it to supply food-activities-prizes...we aren't making much of a profit. We also contacted All About Kids to see about setting up a day to help raise funds but they told us that was for an employee and was a one time thing (even though then they stated it was going to be an annual event) and to talk to management...never got a call back:( Most of the grants we are wanting to apply for want a letter of reference from your church and since we aren't members of a small group within our church they can only say we are members and not actually give a reference. All of this just makes me wonder if we will get any assistance and have to come up with the remaining money on our own.

Other options we were thinking about is selling our tractor, Justin's truck, and our house. None of these options would be easy, but would save us money each month and help to pay down debt. If we were to sell the truck we could get rid of that payment and with the profit pay off one credit card, saving us nearly $450 per month:) If we sell our house and get what it appraises for (even though we have lost money in the last year) and move back into an apartment, we could pay off our other credit card and save another $300 per month:) This would leave us with only the upcoming adoption expenses, our van payment, and the remainder of my school loans.

By moving back to the apartment we would be saving almost $750 a month and would be within minutes of work and Lydia's school. This makes it easier if we only had one vehicle. We would be able to pay off other debt in the next year or so, actually get out of the house we are living in now (not that the house is bad), but I am tired of the drive and the pantsless neighbor:( It would also give us the opportunity to do "extra" things with the Lydia (and our second child) like sporting activities, movies, and playdates. We could even see a family vacation in our future and possibly visiting the kids birth countries again when they are older and helping them pay there way through school.

The down fall is that we would no longer have a yard for Lydia to play. We couldn't go outside and just sit on our back porch and enjoy some fresh air. Lydia wouldn't have the interaction with neighborhood children like she would have if we stayed in our house. As far as the adoption goes, we would have to change some of our paperwork and possibly delaying our process. We would also have to redo part of our photo book for the birthmother, and then their is the question of will she still pick us considering our living situation? Will a birthmother even be choosing us since we will possibly be getting matched with a special needs child?

Every one is just quick to judge when the situation comes up. You guys need a house. Lydia needs a yard. You need to vehicles. Yes, all of that is true. But what if it comes down to we don't have the money? Do we just drop out and say forget it? I just want to be prepared and possibly have a little extra money at the end of the month, instead of wondering how we are going to make that payment.

I so badly just want to sit back and just have faith that this is all going to work out, but it is so hard. I want to bring my next child home and know that we are going to be ok with the decisions that we have made.